Anger Management Session: Responding to Criticism

Hello, thank you for reaching out. It takes courage to recognize these patterns and seek support, and I commend you for taking this step. It sounds like you're experiencing intense reactions to criticism, feeling personally attacked and overwhelmed by anger. You described feeling a rush of heat and defensiveness, leading to impulsive reactions and difficulty letting go of these events. This is a very understandable experience, and we can work together to develop healthier ways of responding.

Let's explore this further. When you face criticism, what are the thoughts that go through your mind just before you feel that heat and defensiveness? For instance, do you think "This is unfair," or "They are attacking me," or something else? Understanding these immediate thoughts is the first step in changing your reaction.

To help manage the immediate physical response when you feel anger rising, let's try a quick grounding exercise. Take a deep breath in, hold it for a few seconds, and slowly exhale. Let's do that three times together. (Pause for simulated breaths). This deep breathing helps calm your nervous system in the moment. We can also practice body scans later to increase your awareness of these physical sensations earlier.

To address the "unfairness" you perceive, we can use cognitive reframing. When you feel criticised, try to pause and ask yourself: "Is there any truth in this criticism, even a small part?" or "What's another way to look at this situation?". Sometimes, criticism can be an opportunity for growth, even if it's delivered poorly.

For managing the "striking back" impulse and difficulty moving on, consider journaling after such incidents. Write down what happened, how you felt, and your reactions. This can help you process the event and identify triggers. We can also explore assertive communication techniques so you can express your feelings constructively rather than reacting impulsively. Perhaps a "time-out" strategy can be helpful too – when you feel anger escalating, excuse yourself from the situation to calm down before responding.

Let's set a SMART goal for the next week. How about practicing deep breathing whenever you feel criticism coming your way, even if you don't feel angry yet? This proactive approach can build your resilience.

To summarize, we've identified criticism as a key trigger, explored the cycle of your emotional and physical responses, and started to introduce cognitive reframing and grounding techniques. Your goal for the next week is to practice deep breathing when faced with criticism. Remember, change takes time and effort, and you've already made a significant step by seeking help. We'll continue to build on this next session.