A Polite Reminder of Your Tenancy Agreement

From: Earth (Landlord)

To: Humans (Tenants)

Date: 15 January 2025

Subject: Lease Compliance and Environmental Stewardship

Dear Humans,

We hope this email finds you well. As your landlord, we would like to take a moment to review the terms of your tenancy agreement. As you are aware, you have been residing on our planet for approximately 300,000 years, and we appreciate the rent you pay in the form of carbon credits (notwithstanding the significant overdraft).

However, we have been noticing a few discrepancies in your lease compliance. Specifically, we would like to remind you of the following clauses:

- Article 3, Section 2: "Tenants shall maintain the property in a reasonable state of cleanliness and environmental sustainability." Unfortunately, our records show that you have been consistently violating this clause, with excessive pollution, deforestation, and climate disruption.

- Article 5, Section 1: "Tenants shall respect the natural resources and biodiversity of the property." Regrettably, we have been observing widespread exploitation of our resources, habitat destruction, and extinction of numerous species.

We understand that you may have been unaware of these infractions, and we are willing to provide guidance and support to help you come into compliance. However, we must stress that continued non-compliance will result in severe consequences, up to and including eviction.

In light of this, we respectfully request that you:

1. Reduce your carbon footprint by 50% within the next 10 years.

2. Implement sustainable practices in your daily activities.

3. Protect and preserve our natural habitats and biodiversity.

We appreciate your prompt attention to these matters and look forward to a mutually beneficial and sustainable tenancy.

Please do not hesitate to contact us if you have any questions or concerns.

Sincerely,

Earth (Landlord)